Thursday, December 23, 2010

My Top 10 Albums: 2010

10. CFCF – Continent

9. ceo – White Magic

8. Foals – Total Life Forever

7. Deerhunter – Halcyon Digest

6. The Walkmen - Lisbon

5. Vampire Weekend – Contra

4. The National – High Violet

3. Local Natives – Gorilla Manor

2. Arcade Fire – The Suburbs

1. Beach House – Teen Dream

My Top 10 Songs: 2010

10. "Superfast Jellyfish" - Gorillaz

Superfast Jellyfish by mariecharlotte

9. "Take it Easy" - Surfer Blood

Surfer Blood - Take It Easy by ObscureSound

8. "Illuminata" - ceo

Illuminata by Jumetsu

7. "Troubles Will Be Gone" - The Tallest Man on Earth

Troubles Will Be Gone - The Tallest Man On Earth by MusicManners

6. "Desire Lines" - Deerhunter

Desire Lines by mishaz

5. "Who Knows Who Cares" - Local Natives

Who Knows Who Cares by Local Natives by infectiousmusicuk

4. "Bloodbuzz Ohio" - The National

Bloodbuzz Ohio by Music Juices

3. "Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)" - Arcade Fire

14 Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mount by PassionateSounds

2. "O.N.E." - Yeasayer

Yeasayer - ONE by deefreitag

1. "Walk in the Park" - Beach House

Beach House - Walk In The Park by Concrete Opinions

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Subway: Eat Death

Here's an old drunk man from my subway journey to BK last night. This One Wise Man sat unflinching in this exact position, with this exact expression, for a solid 5 minutes. Ladies, I don't see a ring on his finger.....

Tuesday, December 21, 2010



MTV Sports

Dan Cortese defines the early 90's.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Jersey Snore

Are we done with these people yet? Yet another phenomenon I just don't understand. I've seen a few episodes - I see that it's mildly entertaining. Mildly. And bearable for about one hour of my life. Every single episode I've tried watching since looks exactly the same. Smoosh! Grenade! Hah...hah?

The worst part is that people still love them - they're even taken seriously by respectable publications like The New Yorker, GQ, New York Times, etc. Little do these fans know they are about to get reeeeeaaal sick of them. Season 3 premieres next month, The Situation is sure to be in a few really, really shitty movies in the years to come, and the rest of them will be hawking protein shakes and the like for many, many years to come. Thanks, American Public - you've created 7 monsters. Everyone who ever watched and perpetuated the success of the show will be pissed at themselves for doing so once the novelty of these sad morons has LONG worn off. I'm not saying I'm better than you for never getting into this show...but then again, that's exactly what I'm saying.

Extreme Monday

This rope swing is just like Salmon Falls, Maine. No it isn't. Lake Tahoe is pretty much the same thing as the Saco River though.

Go to for more videos.

Here's the same dude undershooting a 185-foot gap on skis. Exactly how I tore my ACL snowboarding last year in March. And by exactly, I mean that the tabletop was more like a 40-foot gap and it was at a dumpy place in NY called Hunter Mountain. Wilson managed to be back on his skis 3 months later. My ACL surgery was 8 months ago and I'm still hesitant about shredding this xmas.

Friday, December 17, 2010



I Love the Smell of Cupcakes in the Morning...

see more Gifs

Advertising: Talk boy, talk!

"Hiiii Kiiiids, weee're hooomee eeeaaarrrlllyyyyy"

If Talkboy was a famous thing, a good sailboat name would be Tackbuoy.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Assassination of Yogi Bear by the Coward Boo Boo

Nice send-up of Assassination of Jesse James...but it really makes me feel for poor Yogi. I'm serious.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

American GIF Psycho

funny animated gif


Animated Gifs

3 Big Disappointments in 2010: Albums

1. Band of Horses - Infinite Arms
2. Interpol - Interpol
3. Chromeo - Business Casual

I will say that both Interpol and Chromeo have a particular phoned-in sound that debatably passed their expiration dates by the time of each album's release; however, Band of Horses has no excuse. They have range, musicianship, and talent, yet they instead chose to borrow from Rascal Flatts and their early stuff: compare "Laredo" to "Weed Party" - they're identical. There are a couple good songs on here ("Older," "Blue Beard," "Factory," among others), but no GREAT ones. Lastly, considering that this was their followup to my #2 album of 2007 (The National was #1), this record wholeheartedly deserves the coveted #1 spot for my biggest album disappointment of 2010. Better luck next time, boys.

And the Oscar Goes to...

From Troll 2...oh you haven't seen it?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

JED RED: Keep Livin

Here's a new song I made this weekend.

Keep Livin by JED RED

Samples: "Christmastime is Here (instrumental)" - Vince Guaraldi Trio, 1965; "The End" [guitar solo] - The Beatles, 1969; Dazed and Confused [Wooderson & co.], 1993

Monday, December 13, 2010

Google Latitude

From ValleyWag:

"Google today released Latitude for the iPhone, which allows other people to track your exact location in real time. If you're into sharing your every last move.

The one saving grace of Latitude is that you get to choose with whom you will share your exact movements. Beyond that, however, you have very little control over what information is shared. For example, you can't share just what neighborhood you're in, or share with a particular contact for a particular period of time. Also, Latitude does not require a proactive "check in" like Foursquare, so the app will continue to track and share your every move unless you get into the privacy menu and disable location sharing, which kind of defeats the whole purpose. But if you're really into being watched? Latitude might just be perfect."

I seriously hope these people get robbed by the minor acquaintances following them on Latitude. They are their own worst enemy.

ROBBER: Oh, well the G-Bert's not home according to this thing, soooo guess I'll just rob him now!

I hate these people.

The Fraser's Edge


Bowie and Bing in Spaaaaace

Will Farrell and John C. Reilly created a pitch-perfect parody of a Bing Crosby/David Bowie Christmas duet from 1977 (with the addition of a classic Farrell/Reilly ending). I've included both videos for you to compare - Farrell and Reilly nail the subdued quality of the original, replete with a nice interpretation of the original's shitty, grainy technicolor film. Unsurprisingly, Will C. Farreilly sound pretty great.

What I want to point out though, is that in the original 1977 video, Bing asks Bowie if he listens to older stuff and Bowie replies (thoughtfully, I might add) "John Lennon and Harry Nillson" - two very prolific artists from that very decade. A little advice for 70's Bowie: when Bing crosby asks about what old tunes you still listen to, you dig a little deeper and don't just list your contemporaries. Weird answer from a weird guy. (Am I missing something, was it supposed to be a joke and is Bing's response sarcasm? Doesn't seem like the proper venue for dry sarcasm. Someone please tell me.)

Bing Crosby & David Bowie - Duet
Uploaded by beautifulcynic. - See the latest featured music videos.

Lego Violence

I swear this is not an extension of my Monday internal monologue, I just genuinely like fake violence in all forms.

Thank Satan It's Monday

Get a glimpse into my Monday morning internal monologue:

Friday, December 10, 2010



Paula Demon


Music I Love: Games

I am a sucker for this kind of electronic music every time. Guaranteed. Synth heaven with a heavy dose of nostalgia.


John Legend/The Roots

I went to a Rolling Stone event on Tuesday at the Highline Ballroom that featured a performance by John Legend with The Roots. Now, I get why people like these two sets of musicians: they're musically talented, they're intelligent and socially-aware, they seem to know what the general public likes, etc. The Roots are also the hardest-working band in the biz. But, unfortunately (and I mean that, "unfortunately"), it's not my thing. Hip-hop/R&B, no matter how much I try, is just kind of boring, tuneless and tedious to me. Obviously there are exceptions - but even those few exceptions will never trump my desire to crank up a great rock song. Hip-hop is kind of like Twitter or the iPad to me: I see that people love it, but for whatever reason, I just don't get it. Why force it anymore? It's frustrating, it really is.
Anyway, here's my iPhone photo interpretation of the concert:

Best Accidental News Segue Ever

Whoops CNN. You just accidentally aired one of film's stinkiest scenes as a segue out of a breaking news segment.

Thank you Jeff Daniels, I don't think I could have better expressed my feelings about Cable news.

Top 50 Worst Video Game Voice Acting

These are hilarious, ranging from way, way over the top performances, to those so subdued you wonder if the actors are drugged or they just can't read. Where do they find these people? Best ones are numbers: 47, 43, 42, 40...all of these are pretty great. 33! 21! 11! 9! 4! 3! 3!! 3!!! 3 is the best.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Comedy Central's New Logo is No Laughing Matter

Comedy Central unveiled their new logo today. As you can see, it's fairly rancid. I liked the iconic cartoon buildings they've been broadcasting, with various modifications over the years, from the start. Obviously, at some point you gotta rebrand, but this? This just looks like the logo for some depressing company tucked away in an unassuming office park somewhere in the bung crease off 290 in Massachussetts.

Back to the Future: Outtakes

The making of this movie looked like one helluva good time. Michael J. Fox rules:

The Unholy Trinity, "Das Werkshoppe"

The Unholy Trinity's first and only jam, circa 2006. Picture elves rocking out while making toys for all the innocent children of the world. Featuring Parker and Glover and vocals, myself on everything else. Merry Christmas.

Das Werkshoppe by Jed Red

Eddie Van Halen is Crazy-Looking

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Short, Short Film: Pixels

Really cool, super-short film:

Pixels from Patrick JEAN on Vimeo.

Another Remake: Robin Hood

From Hollywood Reporter:

"Andy and Lana (formerly Larry) Wachowski are returning to the Warner Bros. fold with Hood, a modern, urban take on the Robin Hood myth."

Aren't we done with this remaking Robin Hood business? It's been done literally dozens of times. With this iteration, the directors are vying for Will Smith as the lead (Wachowskis still wish he could have been Neo in The Matrix?), and setting the story in a modern setting? Switching things up a bit? I guess. Not really. Who cares. Enough with the fucking remakes.

Here's a still from Will Smith's Robin Hood audition reel with the new Maid Marian:

My Photo Collection: MTA Worker Part Deux

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

My Photo Collection: MTA Worker

I Made it Up: DVD Edition

Music News: M83

From Pitchfork:

After a move to L.A. earlier this year, Gonzalez has been working hard on a follow-up to 2008's John Hughes-tastic Saturdays=Youth. He describes the new material as "epic, dreamy, powerful, intense," and something of a return to the cinematic stylings of his 2005 opus Before the Dawn Heals Us.

Anthony Gonzalez: For now, the direction of the album is very, very, very epic. Very orchestrated. I feel like it's a mix of all my albums, actually. I'm singing much more on this album too, and I'm very happy with my voice right now. We have like 22 tracks right now.

From Me:

This is fantastic news considering Before the Dawn Heals Us is one of my all-time favorite albums. I think it blows Saturdays=Youth out of the water. Saturdays has some great tunes, but overall it's too poppy and feels like it piggybacked off the fashionable 80's new wave revival, which was a departure from M83's greatest strength: over-the-top epically melodramatic, cinematic electronic rock opera. Needless to say, I'm extremely excited on this return to form.

The opening track from Before the Dawn Heals Us will give you a taste of what I'm talking about:

Moonchild by Pete Aguirre

There are parts of this album that are just straight-up frightening (see "Car Chase Terror!"). It's fantastic. Also, one of the best covers of all time.

Back to the Future: 2015 Nikes

Apparently, Nike is really planning to release these bad boys the same year in which the film's future takes place.

For those that haven't watched I & II in a while - do it. They're both absolutely incredible movies and I say this without a hint of irony. These are great films. II is actually probably one of the best, most clever and original sequels of all time in that it not only delivers on the first film's potential by finally going into the future, but it actually goes back to the past of the first movie and explores that plotline from an entirely different angle.

I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your kids are gonna love it.

Monday, December 6, 2010

I Made It Up: Little Fuckers

I'm sorry Bobby D: but you have become the worst. Your performance on SNL this weekend put the final nail in your coffin. Yes, you're Robert De Niro and you've done many classic movies...decades ago. For anyone who dares to argue with me that he doesn't now suck, go to his imdb page and look at the last xxx movies he's done and tell me which of those is a great film. I win.

The answer is Heat, 1995. Sad, but true.

Here's what I think of Robert De Niro and his weasely butt buddy Ben Stiller:

1987 Commercial: Juicy Fruit

The BEST part, and there are many, is the way the dude sniffs at :13. To his defense, I don't think people sniffed with their mouths open until sometime in the mid-90's.

Small NYC Apartment

I posted this video of my first NYC apartment back in 2005. While I can't believe I lived there for 2+ years with two college friends (my "room" is the bright green one), I'm in equal disbelief that this video has 15,000+ views with an impressive roster of shitty comments. I get these little nuggets popping up in my e-mail every now and then, always from people I assume are non-New Yorkers. Most comments involve how filthy the place is, some say we should have cleaned before filming. Do I really care if it's clean? You don't know who I am, am I supposed to be polite for the anonymous YouTube commenter? It's just weird that people will actively watch this crap. Anyway, here it is, in all its nauseatingly-filmed glory (a film by Casey McCormack):

Screencap: To Catch a Predator


I could use an extreme fajita right about now...

Bootleg DVD: Lost in Translation - Star Wars

Schwarzenegger would be a laughable edition to the Star Wars franchise. But then again, so was The Phantom Menace.

Friday, December 3, 2010



Ready For The Weekend - Calvin Harris by APJ

80's Gym Locker

This is a shot I took last night of my locker at physical therapy. Just felt nice and 80's to me. I did want to show off my sweet NikeID sneaks as well, but mainly, I just wanted to remind you that lockers are extremely 80's.

Remember This? Bill Clinton Loves Sax

Obviously, this is an infamous moment from Clinton's 1992 Presidential Campaign that anyone who was 10+ remembers. The fact that Clinton wails on the sax is accepted, common knowledge...but isn't that weird? I think it is for some reason, but it's really more humorous than weird that Bill Clinton, amidst all his ambition and achievement, kept up with that sax. How many adults do you know that still play the sax? Guitar, bass, piano...I get those. But the sax? I mean can you really picture President William Jefferson Clinton sitting in the Oval Office, reading sheet music and practicing his sax? Do you think he kept it up for the promise of whipping it out in some smoky nightclub, amidst fawning sax-craving divorcees? Do women love wild sax as much as Bubba clearly does? Am I even talking about the saxaphone anymore? I don't know. I just don't know.

Bootleg DVD: Lost in Translation

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Music: The Walkmen cover "Holiday Road"

Here's The Walkmen's awesome cover of "Holiday Road" by Lindsey Buckingham, a tune I'm assuming you'll instantly recognize as the unofficial theme of the 80's Chevy Chase classic, Vacation. The Walkmen are always awesome live - Casey and I had the rare opportunity to open for them our senior year at college - and their latest album, Lisbon, is one of my faves of 2010.

The Walkmen cover "Holiday Road"

Blast From the Past: Technology

I have a hard time believing this was actually advertised and sold, but apparently it happened. I feel bad for whoever bought this(keep in mind this is probably from the 70's - not sure where inflation would put that figure in today's currency, but I'm guessing at least around $10K? No clue). Anyway, holy shit:

That's what she said!

Quentin Tarantino Friar's Club Roast

Yesterday, I had the amazing opportunity to attend the Quentin Tarantino Friars Club roast, hosted by Samuel L. Jackson. It was awesome. Tons of celebrities, including Uma Thurman, Steve Buscemi, Harvey Keitel, Jerry Lewis, Michael Madsen, Sarah Silverman, Jeff Ross, Rob Schneider, Harvey Weinstein, and more. They shat all over Tarantino (his coke habit, foot fetish, general ugliness, creepy Uma obsession, and tendency to steal from better movies, a.k.a. "Martin Scoreso-so"), but the two main targets were John Travolta (who was unable to attend at the last minute) and Rob Schneider. Travolta was slaughtered with gay jokes by literally everyone who spoke. Schneider was ruthlessly bashed for his pathetic film career, and every actor mentioned that Sandler regularly bangs him in the ass. Schneider took all of it very well, and actually managed to deliver some of the best lines of the roast, mainly directed at Travolta. His best lines I can remember were (paraphrased): 'John Travolta removes his condoms by farting' and 'John couldn't attend the roast because "there was a 'Fags in Denial Who Believe in Aliens' convention.'

Oh Hollywood!

Yes, Kathy Fucking Griffin was there. Ugh.

Happy Hanukkah!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Music I Love: CFCF

Another band (like Gayngs) focused on groovy, sexy tunes. The point of differentiation for CFCF is that their music is primarily instrumental and closer in style to beachy, Pacific-influenced electronic bands like Windsurf, Delorean and Air France (dare I say "chillwave?" I dare not). These songs are hypnotic and blissfully simple, or so they seem...

CFCF - Big Love by The Recommender

Cfcf - letters home by rosssweinstein


Season's Greetings

Welp, it's officially that time of year. December. Christmas. Again. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas, I really do, but Jesus if it doesn't bend you over and have its way with you every single year . However, despite being penetrated annually by Kris Kringle, a couple years ago I managed to be completely unaware that it was Xmas Eve, covinced that it was actually the 23rd and I had more time to get presents. When I found out that the next day was Xmas, I was mortified that an entire day had somehow slipped by as fast as a lubed-up chimney Santa. Needless to say, I was rightfully ridiculed by my family and will continue to be until the day I am brutally murdered by reindeer.

Anyway, take it away Monty Python's Eric Idle!

Faizon Love

Pretty Much Everywhere, It's Gonna Be Hot